Sunday, March 28, 2010

Spring break is just starting - yay!

Spring Break...
I am not sure this will be a week of fun in the sun, but I certainly hope it is a week of fun.
Merit and Willem have been laughing, pretending and playing ball all day. Dodge ball, basketball, acting silly and running wild. I have giggled while watching them several times today.
Hazel has been a sweet angel. Willem is so good with her! Both boys are and I so appreciate their help.
Vance BBQ'd at the creek today. Yum! Chicken and veggies.

Yesterday while the boys had a fun day out at Grandpa Vic's, Hazel and I had a quiet day at home. I did get some yard work done, but the tumble weeds are everywhere.
Lots of loads like THIS were gathered off our yard, flower beds and fence line.

We've got daffodils blooming, so I brought some inside.

I've been "thriftin" again! Look at these cute pants I got for Hazel Jane. The fringe is very cute. She has been so happy and fun.

I bought a fun, spring outfit for myself at Goodwill.

Will's been fishing and this four year old boy already tells the classic "fish stories" ... He talks
about a fish that he caught at the Ketchikan, AK cabin that was ------------------ big. Merit corrects him
and says it wasn't THAT big... I love Willem's fish stories!

I am working at finding JOY in little things.
This week:
I'll enjoy my family.
I'll play basketball with Merit -- he is so into the final four too.
I will appreciate the present.
I will write letters.
We'll hit DQ for lunch one day.
I'll take "prayer walks" and especially remember Natasha, Reese and Lane.
We want to go to some fun parks, rent a couple of movies and PLAY.
I'll be back!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Weekend Update, Jansen kids

This is a day of yard work, baking and maybe card making... between Hazel snuggles. The guys are at Grandpa Vic's.
Our yard... tumble weeds everywhere and rose bushes that need to be cut back. Weeds too. I told myself I cannot be bothered by letting a lot of that go this spring and summer. When again am I going to have a darling baby girl to look after?? So today, I will plug away at it  and just make a dent.  I baked a yummy, strawberry chocolate, somewhat healthy dessert. I baked it at 11 o'clock this morning and plan to munch on it all day!
Also, this is the start of SPRING BREAK! I am excited to have Merit home next week! Will also has the week off from preschool!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Slideshow of my mom with music

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I think the playlist on my blog needs to be paused in order to hear the music with this slideshow. Thank you for your friendship and prayers!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Rejoicing, mourning and balancing it all

During this crazy month of new life and new beginnings, I rejoice in new birth and new beginnings and I mourn remembering this is the month my mom left this world. It is really strange to think of spring as a time of new life and also a time of death.
I love seeing the daffodils pop up! Ours are about to bloom. We have lots of green on our lilac bushes, our tulips are up and looking to bloom soon. Our neighbors sheep had baby lambs... our sweet baby Hazel is doing new things each day. I see new LIFE around me. But there is also darkness and reminders of loss around me and within me.
My mom! I could go on and on about her. Many of you have witnessed me going on and on about her! I know few people as kind, patient and fun as she was. The five of us kids were so lucky to have her - we laughed with her - acted silly with her. If you don't believe me, ask to see our home movies. Her being gone is a struggle that keeps rearing its head. Her time here was too short. I wish Natasha had my mom for support right now.
So today, as I miss her, I desire time with my bros and sisters. It's the next best thing to time with my mom. I sure wish I could be sitting down at our cabin making cards with my sisters or shopping TJ Maxx. Or be visiting with Matt or Phil in the kitchen while I "whip up" one of their favorite treats. I could also handle sitting in camping chairs in the yard with Phil and Vance right now (maybe John Stap too) laughing about nothing, watching the kids play as John and Phil enjoy a couple of Miller High Lifes, and yeah Vance with a Modelo :)
A friend asked me if milestones, like my children's milestones, are bittersweet. For me they seem to be either bitter or sweet. I am caught up in "WHY can't Case or my mom be here" and HOW sad it is. Or I am at more of a peace with God's plan and I embrace the milestones knowing they are sweet. I try to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn, but it is all intertwined. March used to be my least favorite month, but a lot of healing has taken place since that awful March nine years ago. I like a lot about March now. A lot of healing has taken place in regards to my mom's death. And now we are on the ugly, long journey of my nephew Case's death... that is a whole new, different grief. We feel longing and distress with tiny bits of healing.
My baby's smile and giggle are two of the most precious things in MY life right now. But everything Hazel does is a reminder of what I have and what Natasha doesn't have. Rejoicing, mourning... oh it is all so intertwined.
I am thankful for who my mom was. I am thankful God can heal. And I will do my best to treasure each day.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Tear Soup

Finally today while sitting in a quiet house, I read the book Tear Soup. A friend gifted me this book about two weeks ago. I couldn't wait to read it when I could digest it and hear all of the words as I read them. It is an amazing book. Natasha, Reese and Lane are making their own large pots of "Tear Soup" right now. Reese's will be different from Natasha's and each of theirs different from Lane's ... the pots won't be finished for a long time, actually they will never be finished. And while they grieve, heal a bit and take on each new day, I pray that God will surround them with people who care and that those praying for them will not stop.

Friday, March 19, 2010

A Friday morning hike starts the day of right

Friday morning HIKE. Oh this little hike with Willem this morning was a great way to start our Friday. Thanks Will for your company.Our cabin looks so inviting with the morning sun shining in! Willem, Hazel and I plan to spend a little time down there today reading and coloring. :) If only this pile of laundry would take care of itself.
Hazel Jane... I have been wanting to do a lil' photo shoot of her with blocks for some time. This morning was the morning. Don't ya want to squeeze her? The little shirt my Aunt Meredith bought for Merit when he was a baby. All three of my kids have worn it. But Hazel shows it off in a super cute way with a little red hair clip!

 soccer season is ON and Merit's "got the stuff"
He is fast and determined!

A few more Lynden shots...Cousins
Our niece Abby and her chicken!
Stan and Adie's tree

I'll be back soon... enjoy your weekend.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Our Weekend

I have LOTS of pictures I want to share from our weekend in Lynden.
It was so good to see brothers and sisters!! Our boys had sooo much fun with cousins. They have cousins close in age on my side and on Vance's side and seeing them over the weekend was a highlight. Our boys were lucky enough to be in town for Emily and Luke's 7th Birthday Party!
Mason and Amanda's reception was fun!
I was able to get a little photo shoot of Lesha and her fun family! They are so cute!
I loved my time visiting with Natasha and family.


Lane and Natasha

Hazel, Lesha, Lane, Natasha and Matt

Natasha and Hazel

Me and Natasha

My brother Phil on the dance floor!

Matt, Hazel and Reese

Luke and Merit -- BUDDIES

Kids, chaos, fun

My sister Lesha and her beautiful Family


Friday, March 12, 2010


M om Missing
A lways running
R andom blog posting
C aring friends surrounding
H earts healing


Natasha, Reese and Lane are in Washington for Reese's brother's wedding so we get to see my sis and family this weekend.
I want to make it down to California so badly to spend time with them. That is my plan for April. I feel relief when I see Natasha. I can see her faith
shining through and her desire to heal. Please pray that Natasha, Reese and Lane have a good Lynden visit!
Last night was Merit's first soccer game. His team played GREAT! It was fun to watch. Soccer season really makes me feel like I am on the run, but is is good and Merit loves it.
Willem is so imaginative, my days are spent being entertained by his conversations, questions and play.
Hazel is rolling, growing, smiling and playing. She is easy going and a little sweet pea.

this beautiful lady is missed so much!