Sunday, January 31, 2010

This Little Light of Mine

I didn't sleep well at all last night... so many thoughts running through my head. And while spending time in a quiet house, awake while everyone else was sleeping, it gave me lots of time to pray. A couple of days ago someone shared on facebook "God is good ALL the time" -  reading those words felt strange. Within me I believe that, but I don't necessarily "feel" that these days. I know God is sovereign. He is unlimited in His extent and He has supreme power. He is in control and someday, all of the heartaches and unimaginable sadness will be explained. There are different seasons in our life. This is my season of being a mom, wife and sister. I think it is ok to seperate myself just a bit from the outside world. I want to have the energy to be a patient, loving wife, a devoted, fun, guiding mom and a supportive sister. At times when there is more of "me" I hope to build friendships and reach out more... but for now I think I know where my responsibilities lie. This morning I sang with my kids "This Little Light of Mine" -- I need to let that light for Jesus shine every day while raising our kids, it should shine in the parent pick up line at Merit's school, it needs to shine when I pick Will up from pre-school, at the grocery store, when I see other moms overwhelmed by the joys and challenges of raising little kids, at the occasional PTA meeting - you get the idea :) ...
My mind is constantly on Natasha, Reese and Lane and God is teaching me how to pray. Right after Case died, I had no words for prayer. The feeling was helpless and at times there was such despair... but again I can pray and I want so badly to be strong enough to support Natasha Reese and Lane when I can.
I'm sharing some of my favorite pictures taken in the last year of God's beauty.  And the one of the sweet couple was actually taken in 2006 of Natasha and Reese on Heckman Lake in Alaska. Pray that they can support eachother and be strong together.
I am overwhelmed by the support our family is feeling during this sad time. My dear friend Lissa is a huge blessing to our family, some friends traveled from Moses Lake to Lynden for Case's service, which meant so much and so many are praying!! Thank you...  


Rebecca said...

I have been studying the book of John this year. The past few weeks have been about finding blessing in the midst of sadness and looking for God's glory. I couldn't help but filter it through a mom's heart and think of Natasha every time I studied. My head said.."yep, that is how we are to respond." my heart said, "yeah, God but what about the death of a child? I can't wrap my brain around that." I love your heart and your devotion to being the best at what God has called you to in this hour. I am inspired to read this. Blessings on you.

Julie said...

Beautiful thoughts, Michele. You are so smart to focus on your family right now; you will have no regrets living that way. My heart aches for Natasha every day and I can't imagine how much more your heart aches, let alone Natasha's. We have been studying Beth Moore's Esther this year and the video where she talks about fear is so powerful. As mothers we are all afraid of living through what Natasha is living through, and we all beg God to never let it happen to us because "IF ... then I don't know how I'll survive." The teaching was that IF the unthinkable ever happens, THEN GOD. You're right on to hold on to those facts about God's sovereignty and unfailing love, even when your heart doesn't feel it. It seems trite to even say that God will be your only comfort, but can you imagine going through this without Him? Without the hope we have? GOD will take care of you all in this sadness. Blessings to you all. I am praying for all of you.

~The Robin's Nest~ said...

I loved this post, the pictures are breathtaking Michele

You know I have been praying for a long time, I come from a major praying family...But still there are times when I just don't know what to say. Many times I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me, many times I tell the Lord I don't know what to say or how to say something. So I sit with my eyes closed just as still as can be...Sometimes thoughts come into my head but most of the times worship songs flow from my lips. So instead of praying, I will be praising the Lord quietly-It never fails the words that I am trying to find come to mind.
I love what you said about different seasons-What I am learning is not to rush those seasons but just to enjoy them.

Still praying for your whole family-Thought about you all when I drove by your town the other day on my way to Spokane and back. My daughter will be passing through tomorrow-She is moving to Spokane.
Take care,

Jodi said...

Michele-isnt it amazing how a picture can make us smile? I don't do well with having the right words to say but i am thinking of you and praying for peace and comfort for your family.

Anonymous said...

Those pictures are just breathtaking! You are so talented!

Continuing to pray for you & your family!

April said...

Such beautiful pictures, Michele. Always remember that God is the great healer. Take it one day at a time and give it all to Him. He WILL carry you through.

Daphine said...

Hey friend!
Beautiful/honest thoughts! I enjoyed your post and the photos are absolutely breathtaking!

I've been praying for your family frequently. Praying for God to bring continued faith, peace and joy again.

Thinking of you often!