Saturday, January 16, 2010

At Thanksgiving, my brothers, sisters and our families and my dad and my Grandma Alma spent that day together in my dad's new shop. Our children (all eight cousins 7 and under) had a wonderful time playing, being together and loving life. We parents and the kids' uncles relished in the JOY of having everyone together. You can only imagine the joy this brought Grandpa Jim and the kids Great Grandma Alma. Later that night my Grandma Dorothy, aunts and cousin Jill and family came to see all and to meet sweet baby Case and baby Hazel. I told so many people after that day, "Life is good now. We are finally all happy and finding JOY again."
It took a long time to find a new "normal" after our mom died. A faithful, God seeking amazing woman left this world so suddenly after just 45 years here. I cried out to God wondering how he could possibly take this daughter, wife and mother from a family who needed her more than anyone but her family could ever imagine.
In the years to come there was some healing. Our broken hearts slowly began to repair. But what a slow process this is. Our dad's heart hardened toward God, we sisters tried to talk to a God who had allowed this to happen. I believe the most faithful one of us was Natasha. No, I believe the most faithful one of us IS Natasha. I remember Natasha reading her Bible in her bathroom each morning when I wasn't sure that that book was a part of my daily life.
Lesha and I have talked so much about how Natasha's faith is so strong. We admire that so much.
Did she stay strong in her faith so that someday she would be able to get through the death of her sweet baby?? I thought God would reward her for being His servant. I never fathomed HE would send her a trial so big, the worst pain any of us could ever know.
Isn't it sad too, that so often I told my friends and siblings what an amazing mother Natasha is, but why didn't I tell her more??
We spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas with Natasha, Reese, Lane and Case. I was so touched to see Reese being such a devoted, involved dad to baby Case. I think sometimes dads enjoy the older kids more and leave the responsibilities of a baby to the mom. But not Reese. He would swoop baby Case up every chance he got and love him and hold him.
Lane was a proud, fun big brother. Baby Case LOVED watching Lane.
Natasha's purpose and love is being a wonderful, God seeking mother. We talk every day, sometimes a couple of times, about being moms and wives and about the challenges and joys in life.
I need to be a friend and sister to Natasha in a whole new world. Her world has changed beyond my understanding.
The funeral will be Wednesday. We are all going to Lynden today and we will all be together tonight. I can't even imagine what that will feel like. PRAY. I can only beg you to PRAY. Pray that Reese and Natasha will grieve together. Pray that they will feel God's presence. Pray that huge decisions that will face them will not seem impossible. Pray that each day God will ease their terrible sadness.


Daphine said...

I prayed for them several times after reading your post. I have been away from blogland for quite some time now, but when I got on last night for only a short time...something told me to make sure to visit your blog. I am so glad that I did so that I would know to pray for your precious family.

It is very difficult to understand why something like this happened. I am glad to hear that Natasha is very strong in her faith.

Praying for you all!

April said...

I am so very so about what has happened...I've been away from Blogland for a few days. You can bet that I will lift your sister and her family...ALL of you...up in my prayers. May God Bless and keep you.

Anonymous said...

Definatly praying for you all Michele! in His love,

~The Robin's Nest~ said...

Still praying my heart out...


Jodi said...

tears...Thinking of you and your family. And praying for peace and comfort in the days ahead.

Janel said...

Oh Michelle, my heart is broken for all of you.... my prayer is for jesus to wrap his arms around all of you and hold you tight...

tami said...

Still praying Michele...
God loves your family so much and I hope each one of you can feel His love this week.
This is so hard to understand-

Take care-

Autumn Barta said...