Monday, March 25, 2013

My mom

I wish I had more pictures of my mom.
Actually, what I really wish was that she could have been here longer.
I find that I have shared all of my pictures. It doesn't make the pictures less special,
but this year I feel like I need more memories, I wish I had more pictures. Strange the different things our hearts feel.
A pregnant mind and heart sometimes gets carried away too. :)

Lesha, our mom and Grandma Alma

My mom at Target!

Our family of SEVEN! 

Mom and Lesha

Phil, Matt, our mom
This picture was taken in Moses Lake at our home on Shorecrest Drive.

My mom and dad

  I miss my mom very much. She went to heaven on this date. I have the sweet hope of knowing I will see her again some day. When Merit was three he knew a lot about my mom and could quickly recognize her on any picture. Hazel doesn't know as much about my mom. In a way, that is okay. I have healed, A LOT. I am more sure of God's plan for my life than I was seven or ten years ago. More sure of God's plan for my mom's life. Also, my life is very full. Taking care of this family brings me a lot of joy and keeps me busy. I have less time to focus on what I don't have and more time to focus on what I do have.
But, I can't forget to share my mom with my children. And because I am their mom, and was raised by a very loving, kind, devoted mother, I do believe I am already sharing a lot of her with them.

This has been an odd year though with having to consider more about our mom's heart issue. Because, we are finding, it could and is affecting our generation. If I would have learned this ten years ago, I think it would have been too much to process. We thought before it was not genetic. Now, we know - at least to a certain extent - it is. Part of our mom's condition was the possibility of sudden cardiac arrest. Sudden was certainly the case. She was gone very suddenly. My sister Natasha now has to face decisions and appointments because her issues could be very serious too and I think that any cardiologist meeting her would want to be very proactive. When an otherwise healthy woman, our mom, dies suddenly at the age of 45, any issues with our hearts have to be taken very seriously.

There are so many unknowns in this life on earth. Lots of uncertainties and many opportunities to simply trust in God. I have made an effort to be joyful - not depending on circumstances - but because that is what I need to be, joyful.

I am so thankful I had the mom I did.

ohhhh and this weekend I found these on my door step... beautiful!
What a special gift, they make me smile every time I look at them!


Jonathan and Kristen said...

Your mom is beautiful! Her three daughters are just as beautiful and inherited her inner beauty as well. Your children will get to know your mom through you, just as I have enjoyed doing. I see in you her quiet strength, compassion, thriftiness, resourcefulness, creativity and eye for beauty. I look forward to meeting her in person one day. I thank God for the mother who gave you life and helped shape who you are. Thinking of your grandpa Ken today too and the legacy of love and faith he left behind. Praying for the health and healing of all of Karen's kids and the generations to come. I love you, Soul Sista. Thanks for sharing your heart.

Maria said...

I know I have said this before,but it is so true. Your mom has such a beautiful smile that makes her eyes just light up! Your sisters and you all have that same beautiful smile. I see your little Hazel looks so much like your sisters when they were younger.
Thanks for sharing your sweet mom with all of us who never got to meet her.

Katie said...

Love you Michele!!!

Natasha said...

I love this post. Isn't it interesting how much we've learned and grown the last 12 years. Mom and Grandpa were such awesome, godly examples for us, I think they are 2 big reasons why we have been able to grow and become better women despite all we've been through. Love ya sister!

Anonymous said...

We lost Bryan's Dad in 2001 at age 56. It's still hard on him sometimes. There are things that have happened in the past 12 years that I wish he was here to see or here to give us advice about.

It sounds like your Mom was a beautiful lady!