Sunday, February 21, 2010

little sweet pea, Hazel Jane....the journey of faith

We had a good weekend. The weather has been beautiful! Lots of sunshine and about 50 degrees. The kids have the bikes and skateboard out. Our family of five went for a nice walk yesterday and then "the guys" spent the night in our little cabin. Today we did another walk, this time with Grandma Kris. We are all needing the fresh air. And it sure feels good to let Merit and Willem run off some energy. Friday afternoon I did this little photo shoot of Hazel.
Hazel is growing and interacting. The boys are enjoying her so much. I am so thankful for these children.
I am missing my brothers and sisters  LOTS. I think about them all so much. I went through some pictures this weekend and the boys watched some video footage from Christmas. Makes me think so much of Natasha, Reese and Lane... and little Case. When I see everyone happy and carefree, it so makes me want to go back to a more simple time...
I think of how so many get togethers for years after our mom died were empty and sad. I think because she passed away so suddenly, the reality of not having her anymore was something that took a long time to accept. And then different people grieved differently. I remember the feeling of being very frightened when I saw so many people go back to their own lives - their normal routine - and our family was stuck in a time of sadness. There were days that we couldn't see past that empty sad feeling. And then in the last while - before Case died - it seemed that everyone was feeling more happy again, a bit more carefree... we all still miss mom, but we were moving forward and finding joy in many things... once again.
Natasha has had more than her fair share of grief. But in this life, there is no "fair share".
Natasha's trust in God is getting her through this. She is looking to Him and I respect her so much for this.
But again, it makes me wish for a more simple time for our family, especially for Natasha, Reese and Lane.
The thing is, when life is very comfortable and carefree, sometimes we spend less time praying and soul searching. When things are easy it is pretty comfortable to just live without much character building, soul searching and prayer.... faith in God is a hard journey...but it pays off in the end.


~The Robin's Nest~ said...

Hazel is adorable-You are an amazing photographer. I loved how you put her in a basket-so cute.

I prayed for you and your whole family (Natasha and her family too) this last week while I was driving past your town. I always think of you when I drive through-

The weather has been amazing. My husband and I went hiking in the Olympic Peninsula in search of waterfalls-We found them-so cool!

I have lost so many people in my life. One death I grieved so deeply that I almost lost my own life. The sad thing about it is that person was a very strong Christian and is in heaven-He wouldn't have wanted me to stay sad like that-I have found that satan uses grief to take us down-We need to be careful. Our loved ones who have gone before us would want us to be happy and go on with our lives and find that God is not only our prize in the end, but also right now while we are here on earth-He can be the closest friend we have if we allow him to be. He is the ONE thing we CAN always depend on.
The hardest time for a person who has lost someone isn't always right after they have lost a loved one. But months and years later when they aren't surrounded by others anymore. Words from others aren't really a comfort at times but God can be, he is so real.

God bless you and your family-I continue to pray for you.


He & Me + 3 said...

Thank you for your prayers for my daughter. I am praying she does well tonight for her concert. Thanks for stopping by my blog and the comment.
I love meeting new people.
Your Hazel is just adorable.

Gubler family said...

Look at those big blue eyes!! She is beautiful! I am sorry for all you are going through.

Anonymous said...

Hazel is just adorable! Those pictures you took of her are just amazing!

Michele, I am praying that things will get better for you & your family! I have a small sense of what you are going through. My husband lost his father 9 years ago and he still hurts everyday.

Natasha said...

Little Miss Hazel Jane is adorable Michele! Can't wait to see her. Thanks for all your prayers and kind words. Miss you!

Lesha said...

This is written so well. I know my days are somewhat normal now, but I think of Tasha, Reese and Lane and it makes me feel guilty because I know must feel so empty.
I went to little Cases grave the other day and their were valentine balloons and the flowers are now gone. I got a huge lump in my throat. I couldn't help but think why is he here, he should be in Coronada with his mom and dad and Lane. But, then I had to remind myself it is just his body, there is no doubt God always takes the innocent children.

Lesha said...

These pictures are so cute! I love her smiling face and also the one from further away. She was probably making cute little baby noises. Oh, so sweet.

Alisa said...

Hazel is beautiful Michele. We are still praying for your sweet family.

Sit A Spell said...

Beautiful pictures...


jenjen said...

What adorable pictures. Hazel is just beautiful!!!

I am still thinking of you and your family and praying that things will get easier.


Daphine said...

Awwwww...these pics are SO ADORABLE! What a cutie!