I told myself I would excercise this morning right after getting Merit off to school and getting Will and Hazel situated, but my heart is heavy and my thoughts are spinning. Expressing myself and asking for prayer might be better than working out with Bob and Jillian. :)
Friday night I picked Natasha up at Seatac Airport. Vance, Merit and Will had a guys weekend at home and Hazel and I met up with Natasha. We spent the night in Bellevue. We talked and we cried, we worried about the toll this is taking on some and once again, Natasha's faith encouraged and inspired me. It still doesn't seem completely real that Case is gone. We still don't know why he is gone. But we have to trust God. God does comfort the broken hearted.
Natasha feels very misplaced. Every morning she brought Lane to school with Case in a front pack or in the stroller. She then went home to care for that sweet baby while her "big boy" was in kindergarten and her husband was at work. Caring for a baby is wonderful and consuming. It takes up so much of a mommy and a baby brings a mother such fulfillment.
Her days are now long and empty. It breaks me heart that she went from such joyful days to days of feeling so misplaced.
She isn't sure what to do with his clothes in the hamper that smell like him. She doesn't want to wash them because she doesn't want to lose that scent that reminds her of him and takes her back to holding him. She has rice cereal and baby food in the cupboard. Every part of her home reminds her of Case and how much she misses him, but she doesn't run from the pain. Pray that God will comfort them. Pray that God will place supportive people in their day to day life.
Reese, Lane and Natasha are all finding a new way without baby Case. People are getting back to their own lives and their routines yet Natasha, Reese and Lane can't really get back to life... they are still trying to find it and figure out what the new normal is. Natasha is misplaced but not lost - because God is her guide and she knows He is in control.We must know God well enough in the light to be able to follow Him through darkness.
Our weekend provided some healing and some laughter. Lesha and Lissa joined us Saturday at about noon. The five of us shopped Bellevue Square, we talked and talked... it felt so good to just be together. We all spent Saturday night and then yesterday had another good day of needed conversation. These girls are huge blessings to me.