This new stage...

I sat in the dental chair yesterday, my legs very hairy. I was wearing capris so I only exposed some of that hair.
A chunk had broken out of an old filling. I was having that one drilled out and replaced.When the front office gal asked when I could come in, my day was pretty open. All four of our kids are in school now. For almost seventeen years I have had a little one home when I was home.
For YEARS, I scrambled to find a time for a dentist or doctor appt. Who could watch these kids or at least a kid and for how long, where. The last couple of years Vance's schedule has been more flexible so he could sometime come home and friends and my MIL have helped, but we are all busy.
It was probably most tricky when Merit and Willem were little. And Merit was WILD. Boy was he wild. (thanking God now he got it out of his system then. This kid is a dream.)
I just do not really make appointments. I get my hair cut twice a year, sometimes one of those times by me. I have had three pedicures in my life. I have brought infants in car seats to my dentist appointments. (I have never had to hold a child through a mammogram though, good thing I called on help those days!)
But this is all new.
And the last three mornings, as I have dropped the kids off feeling melancholy, something sparked in me. Finally, today, something sparked in me.
I could go for a pedicure.
(maybe first I should shave my legs)
I was able to get my filling fixed anytime between 9 and 3. WHAT? That's something!
While waiting for a tire rotation or oil change I don't have to pack a bag of snacks, 10 hot wheels, and five books.
Last year I asked the barber to cut my hair after Oren's hair cut. We were there, Oren was happy, my ends needed trimming. So I had the barber cut my hair. Now, I could book an appt. at a salon.

Now when I substitute teach, I am Hazel and Oren's ride to and from school and there is no childcare cost.

I LOVE being home with my kids. I love going to parks with the kids, hiking with them, going to lunch with them, playing in the yard with them. I LOVE listening to them pretend and play and I enjoy playing with them... and yes, there will be less of that. This is where my sadness has snuck in.

But there are good days coming.

Oh I have LOVED the old life, and now, I am beginning to think I may like this new one.