I am so looking forward to a visit from my sister Natasha, her husband Reese and their sweet son Lane. I have had a bit of a pity party for myself yesterday and today and believe a visit from their family will be of good cheer and lots of laughs.
First thing this morning I was really down in the dumps and tried to blog about it... but kept losing my internet connection... I think God was telling me that brutal honesty on a "public blog" can be dangerous. So maybe this entry won't be written in haste through tears, but just as a healthy journal entry.
I miss my mom, I miss being someone's daughter. My dad is intelligent, fun and a bit of a comedian. He is a friend to all five of us kids...finally. Many years with him have not been the easiest. It is a blessing to think that at this stage of our lives myself and my four siblings enjoy our dad's company and are glad to have him as a friend. For this I am thankful. The relationship with my dad is tricky. Because when my mom was living she was so approachable, so forgiving, easy to talk to, prayerful, loving, fun.... I really could go on and on. We always went to her. All five of us shared our joys, struggles, challenges and accomplishments with our mom. Our dad was working, our dad was busy, our dad was much less approachable. So, when we lost her it was like losing the involved parent, the parent who had invested so much in us and we in her.
All around me are fabulous relationships between mothers and their adult daughters. Most of the time this makes me happy. I encourage my friends to treasure their sweet, precious gift - their mother. But this week, I am envious, I am sad. I wish my grandma had her daughter. I wish my dad had his wife. I WISH my boys had my mom for a grandma. I wish my siblings had her here. I throw myself a pity party.
I have so much to be grateful for, don't get me wrong. And in general I am a very positive person. But rather than closing this entry with all the things I am thankful for and how great my life is, I will close it with one sentence - I miss my mom.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY OPJ!!!
THIS KID IS THE BEST!!! PRAYIING BLESSINGS OVER YOU OREN! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
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This kid's hair had never been so long! He opted for a cut yesterday afternoon! He looks great! -
THIS KID IS THE BEST!!! PRAYIING BLESSINGS OVER YOU OREN! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
13 comments:
know that you are in my prayers. I hope you and Natasha and family have a great time together! Lots of hugs.
I love you Michele,
Mindy
We wish we could have met your mom. I'm sure we'd love her especially if she is anything like you! You are a blessing and such a dear daughter, mother, wife and friend! I love you!
Mindy shared your blog with me and I was blessed by your heartfelt entry. Know that you are not alone and that I share many of the same feelings. Life without a mom is certainly different, especially during the holidays. Enjoy your sister and her family. God's blessings in 2009.
Love, Melinda K.
Praying for you friend. This brought tears to my eyes while reading it. Dirk lost his mom about 10 years ago and it's still such a struggle for him, especially around the holidays. I am glad that you posted about it so that we can know how to pray for you.
Big hugs your way today friend and know that someone is praying for you!
Blessings,
Your friend Daphine
I am flying to South Africa tomorrow morning (from London), having not seen my rock and mom for over a year, and am doing cartwheels in the lounge!!!
I cannot wait to see her, and could not imagine life without her... holidays would be the worst I am sure. This is the first Christmas without my dad though, who passed away in July. We weren't close though.
I love your blog and would love to follow it... I am also a crafty gal.. used to have my own handmade paper business in South Aricam prior to coming to London. Will continue when we return in 2010.
Have a happy new year, and I am sending you a BIG hug from across the ocean...
You have every right to throw a pity party and vent! It sure makes the rest of us realize how lucky we are to have our moms...thanks for the reminder. You are such a wonderful, great-hearted person Michele- I'm so glad to know you and you are in my prayers. Have a super time with your sister and her family.
Love,
Katie
I'm so sorry. It is definitely okay to have a pity party, and actually part of the healing process. I know your mom is looking down from heaven and is so proud of you and how genuine, appreciative, and wonderful a person you are! I hope you guys have a great New Years. Tell Tasha, LAne & Reese hello from us!
Michele, so sorry about losing your mom:( You just helped me to appreciate mine more. I've been taking her for granted lately...
Blessings, Heaven
Michele, thank you for being so open and honest and putting your feelings into words. That's one of the many things that I LOVE about you. I love that you are so genuine and real. I find myself thinking about how different my life would be without my mom and it hurts deep within my soul. I can't begin to imagine or understand. I just want you to know what an incredible person you are and how proud I am to have a friend like you. Know that my door is always open and my shoulder is always ready ....... I love you friend........
Your words are so true and honest and of course, I know exactly how you feel. I am so thankful for sisters and brothers to share these feelings with. What would we do without eachother?? No matter how much time passes, there is always a sadness there. My heart breaks that Mom can't be here to be Grandma to all these kids. It was so great to see you guys last week. I love the relationship that Lane has with all his cousins and I am so glad they all have eachother!! Love you!
You mom was wonderful, and I feel so blessed to been a part of her life. I miss her as well, our large family is no longer the same with out her. I miss you guys and look forward till we are all together again. Lots of Love Jill
Wow, you really know how to put your feelings into words. Good for you to have a pity party. Actually, maybe that is what some would call it, but it is actually talking about your feelings and not trying to hide them. That is healthy! Wouldn't it be nice if life was always wonderful and we could just say what is done is done and go on. That is unrealistic though. But, on the positive side, I am so thankful to have you and many others around me who care. And know that you always have me to talk to. Ummm, I think we do need to arrange a time without kids though. Thank you for writing about your feelings. Love, Lesha
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