Weekend Update, Jansen kids

This is a day of yard work, baking and maybe card making... between Hazel snuggles. The guys are at Grandpa Vic's.
Our yard... tumble weeds everywhere and rose bushes that need to be cut back. Weeds too. I told myself I cannot be bothered by letting a lot of that go this spring and summer. When again am I going to have a darling baby girl to look after?? So today, I will plug away at it  and just make a dent.  I baked a yummy, strawberry chocolate, somewhat healthy dessert. I baked it at 11 o'clock this morning and plan to munch on it all day!
Also, this is the start of SPRING BREAK! I am excited to have Merit home next week! Will also has the week off from preschool!

Slideshow of my mom with music

This free photo slideshow personalized with Smilebox

I think the playlist on my blog needs to be paused in order to hear the music with this slideshow. Thank you for your friendship and prayers!

Rejoicing, mourning and balancing it all

During this crazy month of new life and new beginnings, I rejoice in new birth and new beginnings and I mourn remembering this is the month my mom left this world. It is really strange to think of spring as a time of new life and also a time of death.
I love seeing the daffodils pop up! Ours are about to bloom. We have lots of green on our lilac bushes, our tulips are up and looking to bloom soon. Our neighbors sheep had baby lambs... our sweet baby Hazel is doing new things each day. I see new LIFE around me. But there is also darkness and reminders of loss around me and within me.
My mom! I could go on and on about her. Many of you have witnessed me going on and on about her! I know few people as kind, patient and fun as she was. The five of us kids were so lucky to have her - we laughed with her - acted silly with her. If you don't believe me, ask to see our home movies. Her being gone is a struggle that keeps rearing its head. Her time here was too short. I wish Natasha had my mom for support right now.
So today, as I miss her, I desire time with my bros and sisters. It's the next best thing to time with my mom. I sure wish I could be sitting down at our cabin making cards with my sisters or shopping TJ Maxx. Or be visiting with Matt or Phil in the kitchen while I "whip up" one of their favorite treats. I could also handle sitting in camping chairs in the yard with Phil and Vance right now (maybe John Stap too) laughing about nothing, watching the kids play as John and Phil enjoy a couple of Miller High Lifes, and yeah Vance with a Modelo :)
A friend asked me if milestones, like my children's milestones, are bittersweet. For me they seem to be either bitter or sweet. I am caught up in "WHY can't Case or my mom be here" and HOW sad it is. Or I am at more of a peace with God's plan and I embrace the milestones knowing they are sweet. I try to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn, but it is all intertwined. March used to be my least favorite month, but a lot of healing has taken place since that awful March nine years ago. I like a lot about March now. A lot of healing has taken place in regards to my mom's death. And now we are on the ugly, long journey of my nephew Case's death... that is a whole new, different grief. We feel longing and distress with tiny bits of healing.
My baby's smile and giggle are two of the most precious things in MY life right now. But everything Hazel does is a reminder of what I have and what Natasha doesn't have. Rejoicing, mourning... oh it is all so intertwined.
I am thankful for who my mom was. I am thankful God can heal. And I will do my best to treasure each day.

Tear Soup

Finally today while sitting in a quiet house, I read the book Tear Soup. A friend gifted me this book about two weeks ago. I couldn't wait to read it when I could digest it and hear all of the words as I read them. It is an amazing book. Natasha, Reese and Lane are making their own large pots of "Tear Soup" right now. Reese's will be different from Natasha's and each of theirs different from Lane's ... the pots won't be finished for a long time, actually they will never be finished. And while they grieve, heal a bit and take on each new day, I pray that God will surround them with people who care and that those praying for them will not stop.

A Friday morning hike starts the day of right

Friday morning HIKE. Oh this little hike with Willem this morning was a great way to start our Friday. Thanks Will for your company.Our cabin looks so inviting with the morning sun shining in! Willem, Hazel and I plan to spend a little time down there today reading and coloring. :) If only this pile of laundry would take care of itself.

Hazel Jane... I have been wanting to do a lil' photo shoot of her with blocks for some time. This morning was the morning. Don't ya want to squeeze her? The little shirt my Aunt Meredith bought for Merit when he was a baby. All three of my kids have worn it. But Hazel shows it off in a super cute way with a little red hair clip!

GO CHARGERS

 soccer season is ON and Merit's "got the stuff"

He is fast and determined!

A few more Lynden shots...Cousins

Our niece Abby and her chicken!

Stan and Adie's tree

I'll be back soon... enjoy your weekend.

Our Weekend

I have LOTS of pictures I want to share from our weekend in Lynden.
It was so good to see brothers and sisters!! Our boys had sooo much fun with cousins. They have cousins close in age on my side and on Vance's side and seeing them over the weekend was a highlight. Our boys were lucky enough to be in town for Emily and Luke's 7th Birthday Party!
Mason and Amanda's reception was fun!
I was able to get a little photo shoot of Lesha and her fun family! They are so cute!
I loved my time visiting with Natasha and family.

WEDDING RECEPTION

Lane and Natasha

Hazel, Lesha, Lane, Natasha and Matt

Natasha and Hazel

Me and Natasha

My brother Phil on the dance floor!

Matt, Hazel and Reese

BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Luke and Merit -- BUDDIES

Kids, chaos, fun

My sister Lesha and her beautiful Family

MORE TO COME...

M-A-R-C-H

M om Missing

A lways running

R andom blog posting

C aring friends surrounding

H earts healing

KIND OF MONTH

Natasha, Reese and Lane are in Washington for Reese's brother's wedding so we get to see my sis and family this weekend.

I want to make it down to California so badly to spend time with them. That is my plan for April. I feel relief when I see Natasha. I can see her faith

shining through and her desire to heal. Please pray that Natasha, Reese and Lane have a good Lynden visit!

Last night was Merit's first soccer game. His team played GREAT! It was fun to watch. Soccer season really makes me feel like I am on the run, but is is good and Merit loves it.

Willem is so imaginative, my days are spent being entertained by his conversations, questions and play.

Hazel is rolling, growing, smiling and playing. She is easy going and a little sweet pea.

MY MOM

this beautiful lady is missed so much!

Merit - Will - and Hazel Jane

Happy Monday!

Today our good ol' dog Rudy is 12 years old! Vance and I got her when we were engaged to be married. Happy Birthday Rudy.

The condensed version

Last night I sat down at my computer and was somewhat prepared, I thought, to write about my mom, my sister Natasha and some of the current struggles ... the post was long and confused. Sometimes simplicity becomes necessary. And because none of these heartaches are simple, I feel a desire to go on and on -- but to condense it, to ask for prayer and to invite you into my thoughts is what I can do today.

March is the month that we lost our mom. So far in these first few days of March, I have thought so much of how much Natasha needs our mom right now. My mom being physically here can't be a reality. But what she fostered in us, remains with us. Our mom taught us to be faithful, prayerful and to look to Jesus. Because of that, Natasha can survive the tragedy of losing Case.

The rose garden long has been faded, all earthly things must decay. And our mother's with Jesus in heaven, seems long now since she went away. I'm so glad God's prayer line is still open, and that my mother taught me to pray. For I know she is patiently waiting, until we meet her in heaven that day.
- Creola Knifley Goode
Case is in her arms now. And this brings us all a bit of peace ---

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when the troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. -- Washington Irving

This is one of Natasha's favorite verses.

Jansen Kids :)

Oh, these days are busy! Soccer has started, I love this but it really messes with the dinner hour. :)

Merit is on a team with a great group of kids.

When we were at practice tonight, Vance made a homemade pizza --yum!!

Last night at 8'clock Merit informed me that he had volunteered me to make chocolate chip cookies for his class and their Dr. Seuss celebration. He needed them today. So, from 8 till 9 I made cookies last night. I secretly wished I was finally sitting on the couch. He was so excited to bring them this morning, it made it worth it.

Willem had a great morning at pre-school and is on the letter Q this week. Thursday he will bring a QUILT to school.

Hazel rolled over for the first time yesterday. She is "talking" lots and smiles easily, especially for her brothers. She is a sweet cuddle bug.

Tomorrow I will work at the student store at Merit's school over the noon hour.

I have been so blessed by friends! Last week I enjoyed a couple of very nice coffee dates, needed phone conversations and I am also loving some email and facebook conversations (Kristen and Kelly S). I am grateful.

This week... I am getting to my laundry. I am organizing....a little bit :) if I am ever home. I'll get my card stuff out and make a few cards -- hopefully. Both boys have birthday parties to attend this week, so they are excited about that! And the sun has been shining ... LOTS... this feels good.