I am 43 years old and tragedy takes my breath away today more than ever. I know we have HOPE in Jesus. I do not feel desperate. But some days when we learn of something tragic, something so sad, of a great loss -- the tears do not stop. As I get older, it is incredibly real to me the MANY who are affected, I would like to say this has helped me become more wise. I don't know. It has helped me want to help the hurting. I wish I had the words of comfort. As we journey along those affected by loss, our care is felt. So, we journey, we pray, we care.
The day of my mom's funeral I remember thinking that my siblings handled the day, the hugs, the conversations and the sympathy with such grace. Right after the funeral service, our family ate our lunch in a back separate room of the church basement. We could exit as we pleased, to then visit with the many people who had come to pay their respect. I tried to hide in that room. The emotions, the conversation, the hellos and hugs seemed exhausting. I wanted to scream "we can't do this without her." I cried for days, weeks, who am I kidding I still cry for my brother Phillip. He was in 8th grade and suspended from school at the time of her death. Messy, sad, heartache. We could not do it without her. Yet we are, but some days not very well. Looking back, I appreciate all of the people who reached out that day and in the days following (our support system was and is incredible) but at that moment my heart hurt so terribly and my brain felt so foggy. I was calloused and I was sad.
Fast forward. Time passed and heartache remained. The void remained. Both of my sisters were married the summer after our mom's death. When we gathered for holidays and birthdays there was a void. Nothing was as easy or as fun. We lost our grandpa Ken after our mom, very hard because he was such a stand up guy but he had fought a good fight. Around the time I felt like family gatherings had more joy than tears and had more laughter than heartache, my nephew Case died. It was in the days that followed that I vowed to trust God's plan even though I was far from understanding it. The way my sister Natasha handled his funeral was with a grace and love that again I could not fathom. God gave this to her. She allowed Him to give this to her. Her life is forever changed. So is her husband's. Grief is not temporary.
My dear friend Lisa who lost her husband suddenly and tragically, she hugged the people at his funeral. She talked with them with a grace and a patience and an appreciation that made me respect her even more and made me cry as I looked back on that day. She knew that God had a plan.
Grief does not look the same. The hardest days can come at the beginning but sometimes they wait.
The grief lasts, but can look different with some time and some healing. Coming alongside the bereaved would be my advice. Care and compassion matter.
Last night a seven year old girl - a Longview Elementary student - died in a car crash. A darling girl with a twin brother also in her class. Back to trusting God's plan even without understanding it. There is so much we won't know this side of heaven.
When I walked into the school this morning, the feeling of sadness and the will to support was powerful. Our PE teacher and music teacher have taught this girl, her twin brother, her older brother and sister - these teachers get to know and love the families and are invested. It was a day that tried to shake our school, yet the love, care and encouragement did so much to help our children get through.
This little girl's death made me think of her darling personality of her BRIGHT, social, sweet being! She was such a dear girl. And it made me think of her dear mom - a woman I do not know.
It made me think of my grandma who has lost two daughters, of my sister who lost her son, of friends and family who have lost loved ones, It was a day to cry and to be weak and to want to somehow help in the days ahead.
God, please comfort them.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
Revelation 21:4
2 comments:
What hard losses you all have had to grieve! And yet your trust in the One who knows all things is a beacon of hope. I pray this family will find the same trust and hope you have.
I love your heart. You have more empathy and feel the feels my dear friend. Sorry for the loss of that sweet little girl, so tragic. Praying for His comfort to the hurting, lost and broken hearted!
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