Soaking up the now, remembering the then

Last night I told Merit I would read to him. A couple of times a week I read to Willem and I read to the littles, but I don't read to Merit very often. He sat on my bed and handed me the chapter book he is currently reading. Jesus Calling (for children) was also in my room so first we read from that. The devotions for yesterday and today were really good and the scripture was great. Merit said the words were good for him to hear, relating to what he is feeling right now.  We talked about the devotions and then Merit just started talking, about life in general. He spoke about pressures he feels. He told me he was thinking about the big MSP test coming up while he was on the baseball field last night... He told me about how important it is to him to get good grades, do well on tests, perform well in sports. It hit me that often I would crawl up on my mom's bed and would tell her all about my day. I remember this in high school especially. She would be so tired and her eyes would look heavy and I would talk and talk. I remember getting home from basketball games after cheering and it would be late and I would go into her room if she wasn't downstairs. I would just talk about life and she was the best listener. The rest of the house was quiet, with everyone sleeping.

Last night, my eyes began to get heavy and Merit talked and talked. He said "Mom, are you falling asleep? We haven't even read my book." I was quickly taken back to these memories of me with my mom. And how fitting, today is her birthday. She would be 59.

I sort of want to argue with God today, because He could have given her so many more years here. I will choose to trust His plan, even when I don't understand it.

And I am so very thankful for these children God gave me. They teach me daily about what is important. I am so, so blessed. I think I love being a mom as much as my mom did. :) 

The day before me and Vance's wedding! 

Picking flowers

Aunt Meredith, Aunt Barb, Aunt Janis, my mom, my cousin Megan, my Aunt Joan, my Aunt Jill

My mom and me

I see a bit of my little Oren here.

I am terrible at scanning pictures.  But here is my mom, my dad, me and Lesha

My cousin Jill, Aunt Janis, my mom, Megan, Aunt Joan and Aunt Meredith

A crafting day! 

I remember this day was fun. We had a tea party and crafted. Aunt Meredith hosted.Great company, good conversation...

As I was thrifting this morning I was thinking of how my mom loved the thrift stores too. My mom, my sisters and I sort of have fun with re-purposing and we are big bargain shoppers. :) 

So thankful for the memories.

And so thankful that my sweet Merit talked my ear off as I was heavy eyed last night. 

The highlight of my week.