There is often beauty in our mess

Walking through the animal barns at the Northwest Washington Fair just over a year ago, I thought to myself even the animal barns here are beautiful. Lynden and its people take pride and care in their homes, yards, gardens and animals - more so than in many other towns and communities. The Fair really is no different. As I walked through the barn with Natasha and my California soul sista Kristen, I told them about my plans for a book.

The title would be "Maybe I should eat a Nasturium" - And I am so nervous to type that in fear that someone will steal my book title. (you know I am mostly joking)

Yesterday was a chapter in my book that would evoke less laughter and more tugs on the heart strings or frankly more complaining. The morning started off rocky. Getting out the door hard. I ran in several directions, but always came back to the same spot with having accomplished very little. I got a call from the Animal Shelter. They have partnered with a pet store in Issaquah and many of their cats are going there where they are available for adoption. Thankfully, this has been a huge success! As soon as these kittens, kittens like the ones we foster, are at 2 pounds and can be spayed or neutered they are trucked to Issaquah and are eligible for adoption. The good news is, people are adopting them! They asked me to bring Yahtzee and Basil back, hoping they were of weight and much more social. They then would head off to Issaquah. The shelter took the cats and gave me three others, siblings, one with a bum eye. Hazel scooped them up, rocked them, asked if one could ride in the car when we went to pick up Willem... that was all good. But I sometimes wonder why it is that I want to add to my responsibility plate.

Willem had a rough day at school yesterday. Some of his classes are hard and his studying overwhelms him a bit. Football practice was not what he had in mind. He asked if we could please stop and get Dippin' Dots on the way home from football - we stopped, they were out. He walked back to the car looking tired and had a sad saunter. He vented that life can be hard right now.


We got home and tried to line everybody out. Who needs a shower? Who has reading? Does everyone have clean undies? Merit came to me and said that AP English is so hard and that Mr. H expects a lot. He asked me to read a six page story and see what I could gather from it. Those six pages were in the tiniest print in a very large text book. A story of the depression and a fourteen year olds battle with poverty, poor choices, challenges and adjustments. And then I read his questions. Man, I don't know if I could do high school again. It was late and bedtime and I had to run out to the chicken coop to make sure the kittens had enough water. The kittens get one side of the coop the chickens get the other and we all try to live in harmony.

I fell into bed, very tired. Glad I had three days of refreshment and dining out with my sisters because my soul, mind and body needed it.

I thought of a friend struggling in her marriage, a little boy named Ethan who is fighting cancer, many who are sick and hurting. And if you think too much about all that sadness, there is a weight that is hard to lift.

And I stopped and thought of my mom raising five children, as she lived through a heart issue that she knew little about. A heart problem that probably took a real toll on her some days. She had hurting friends, was raising awesome, difficult, strong willed, button pushing children. But even through the stress of it all, she would go out to her garden, her beautiful raised beds and pick some nasturiums to be beautifully served on a special occasion salad. And she found the bits of joy and beauty in a life that is messy. Because really, in some ways, all of ours are.

She prayed.
She laughed.
She worried.
She gardened.
She dug for energy to raise five kids and take care of a husband.

The spring she that she died, she told Lesha that she was so excited to make pillows for her bench on the front porch. Cheery pillows with spring fabric. She probably felt pretty miserable some days, but she did not stop searching for the joy and beauty.

Maybe I should eat a nasturium.